


Making it Right

by BigerTlue



Category: iCarly
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2011-09-27
Updated: 2013-03-04
Packaged: 2015-06-12 15:13:37
Rating: T
Chapters: 14
Words: 11,733
Publisher: www.fanfiction.net
Story URL: https://www.fanfiction.net/s/7418523/1/
Author URL: https://www.fanfiction.net/u/3286073/BigerTlue
Summary: When Freddie loses everything he cares about due to alcohol, will he finally do what he needs to? And will he be able to do what it takes to make it right? Seddie Fic.





	1. Chapter 1

**First of all, I know this is kinda far-fetched maybe, and I promise this will be a Seddie Fic, just bare with me here.**

**Disclaimer: I own nothing except the idea **

**Chapter 1: The Decision**

24 year old Freddie Benson lay sprawled out on his bed for the fourth night in a row, barely conscious, empty bottles of alcohol and other things scattered around him.

He lifted his head up slightly off the bed to glance at the clock "3 in the morning? Ugh-"

He dropped his head back down onto the pillow and closed his eyes with a sigh, in all honesty he wasn't sure how he'd ever let his problem get this bad. An alcoholic was the last thing he thought he'd ever be. He knew he needed to do something and he knew he needed to do it now, he'd already lost everything important to him and nothing was ever going to change if he didn't take that first step.

He woke the next morning and jumped into the shower, thinking carefully about what he was going to do.

As he dried off he looked in the mirror and barely recognized who he saw looking back. His hair had grown longer then it should have, he was skinnier then he could ever remember being and his eyes, the ones that used to be so full of life, were dark and haunted.

He shook his head in disgust and threw some clothes on, walking out of his house and catching the bus downtown. As he sat there a small smile made it's way across his face and he nodded his head once, to re-assure himself he was making the right choice.

He jumped off the bus in front of a small, quiet building and pulled out his phone, calling one feisty blonde by the name of Sam Puckett.

"What do you want?" She demanded after a few rings.

Freddie sighed, knowing she wasn't going to like what he was going to say "I can't take Ayden on the week-ends for the next few weeks."

It was quiet on the other end of the line "WHAT? Why not? You know how much he loves seeing you on the week-ends."

"Yes Sam, I know. I love seeing him too, it's going to kill me to not see him but I can't." He sighed again "I know your opinion of me isn't the best right now, but you loved me once and you trusted me, remember that and just trust me now that this is for the best ok?"

"Fine. Call me when you CAN come see your son." With that the line went dead.

4 years ago Freddie and Sam had started dating, much to the joy of their other best friend Carly Shay, and things progressed easily for them from a relationship into a friendship.

About a year after they got together, Sam found out she was pregnant and 9 months later Ayden Xavier Benson was born. Things were great for two years until Freddie got into a car accident, which killed an innocent person and the guilt started taking a toll on him and he turned to alcohol, eventually losing both Sam and Ayden, as well as everyone else due to the addiction he had.

But now he wanted to make everything right, which brought him to the building he was currently standing in front of.

He took a deep breath and walked through the doors, stopping in front of the reception desk where the nurse smiled at him "Hello there, welcome to Seattle Rehab Center, how can I help you?"

Freddie smiled at her "I'd like to sign up for rehab."

The nurse smiled warmly at him and nodded "When would you like to start?"

He looked around and shrugged "Now."

She nodded and dug through some papers "Ok, you just have to fill these papers out and then one of our support staff will meet with you so we can give you the best care and help we can."

Freddie nodded and took the papers, turning to go sit and fill them out when the nurse spoke again "And sir?"

He turned around to look at her and she smiled "Congratulations on taking the first step to getting better by yourself, it's not easy."

He gave her a half-smile and nodded, sitting down in the first empty chair "Thank you."

**I know, might not be the best start, but I'm working on it. It will jump between the rehab place and other areas, but it shouldn't be too confusing. Review and let me know what you all think**


	2. Chapter 2

**Hey! I'm really glad you like it so far, I promise I'll be updating as quick as possible.**

**Like I said this jumps from place to place and might jump a bit in time as well, but I'll always clearly state when and where it is.**

**Disclaimer: I still don't own anything but the idea, but that's a good start yes?**

**Chapter 2: Starting the Process**

**Carly's house, one week later**

Carly walked into the house with a few bags of groceries "I'm home! Can I get a bit of help here?"

Gibby came running down the stairs (AN-yes Carly and Gibby are together in this..dont ask why cuz I don't know) with Ayden latched onto his back. He grabbed a few bags and Ayden pulled a box of cereal out of one of the bags so he could carry it to the kitchen.

He ran with it into the kitchen and put in on the counter with a big grin "I helped Aunty Carly, I put this back for you."

Carly smiled and bent down to hug him "You were a big help buddy, unlike your mother over there." she shot a look over to the couch where she knew Sam was and got a thumbs up in response as Sam got up and wandered over to the kitchen to help put stuff away.

Sam's eyes lit up as she saw the ham and was in the process of trying to hide it in her sweater unsuccessfully when her cell phone rang, causing her to drop it with a huff and pick up the phone.

She looked at the ID and rolled her eyes "What do you want dork?"

There was a pause on the other end of the line and then "Hey Sam. How's everything?"

Sam couldn't help but smile a bit even though she was irritated, no matter what happened he always called to see how things were "Not bad, we're at Carly and Gibby's again. She just bought groceries you know."

Freddie laughed quietly, but she could sense that something was off about it "I take it she bought ham, and you were trying to take it without her noticing...again?"

"Yes. And it WILL work one day...but anyway, what did you want?" she asked, playing with the ties on her sweater slightly.

"I was wondering, if I could talk to Ayden? I miss him." he asked quietly.

Sam smiled again "Yeah, he misses you too." she called Ayden downstairs and handed him the phone, telling him it was Freddie and he started talking quickly to him.

Sam watched Ayden walk off with the phone and shook her head slightly, glancing over and seeing Carly's confused look "What's wrong?"

Sam shrugged "Something just seemed...different about him. I can't explain it."

Carly nodded "You know him better then anyone, if you say he did then I trust that." they started talking again about their respective days and only stopped when Ayden came back in with the phone.

Sam and Carly went over to him and he smiled at them "Daddy is doin somefin big, I gotta be a good boy and wait for him and he be back when he can be. And when he comes back, we's goin out for ice- cream."

They both looked at each other curiously, but Ayden had already gone on to tell Carly about his day.

**At the rehab center**

Freddie hung up the phone and sighed, handing it back to his worker Kolby, who smiled at him "Everything ok?"

Freddie nodded and leaned back in his chair "Yeah, I think he understands that I'm not seeing him because I don't want too, it's still hard though."

Kolby nodded sympathetically "I know, but your doing this for him. For you, Sam and Ayden."

Freddie rubbed at his eyes anxiously, it had only been a week with no drinking but it felt like an eternity "She'll never take me back, but maybe we can be friends again. We were more civil to one another in that 2 minute conversation then we have been since we split."

Kolby laughed "Could be because you weren't slurring at her for once."

Laughing along with him, Freddie nodded "Yeah, I like it...seeing things clearly again. Doesn't make this easier though."

"Nothing will Freddie, but you just gotta stick to it." looking at the time Kolby stood up "Alright, that's it for today, see you tomorrow?"  
>Freddie stood up as well "Yeah, see you tomorrow."<p>

As he walked out of the room he ran his hand through his hair and thought about the last week "I can do this...I have to do this." he muttered to himself before heading out to the backyard to relax before dinner

**Woo! So yeah, it'll likely skip a week each chapter for now, because I want to show the changes in him and everyone around him as well as the length of time he's going to have to fight, both in and out of rehab. So I'd really love it if ya'll would review and let me know what you think.**


	3. Chapter 3

**So I'm amazed at how easily this story is progressing for me, it's just writing itself pretty much. Thanks for following me with it, I intend to just get better as I keep writing.**

**Disclaimer: Still own nothing, painful as it is to admit.**

**Chapter 3: Slow progress is still progress**

**At the rehab center a week later**

"Here you go Freddie, this is for all you've done the last two weeks"

Freddie turned around and saw the man he'd been working for, doing small chores around the center, holding out a small envelope. "You interested in helping out some more?"

He nodded and took the envelope with a smile "Sure, it keeps my mind off of the cravings and it's good to be doing something productive again."

The man smiled happily and nodded "Alright then, I'll call you if something comes up."

Freddie nodded again and pulled out the money, counting it quickly and calculating numbers in his head before pulling out his cell and dialing a number.

"Hello?" a tired voice answered after the second ring.

"Spencer? It's Freddie. I need you to do me a favor."

He heard a crash on the other end and rolled his eyes with a playful grin, same ol Spencer "Sure Freddie, what's up?"

"I need you to come to the rehab center, I need you to give something to Sam for me."

There was a brief pause "Be there in 5 minutes" and the line went dead.

True to his word, five minutes later Spencer walked into the center and walked to the front desk "I'm looking for Freddie Benson."

The nurse smiled at him and pointed outside "He told me he'd be waiting outside."

Spencer nodded his thanks and walked to the side door, stepping outside with his eyes quickly scanning the area for Freddie.

He found him near a tree and headed over, dropping down beside him "S'up man?"

Freddie jumped a bit and looked at him "Hey, thanks for coming."

Spencer grinned "I was actually gonna be heading to the store to get things for my new doughnut statue, so it was nothin to stop over here." he paused and looked at Freddie carefully "How are you holding up?"

Freddie hesitated slightly, not sure if he should tell him the truth, but he had always been there for Freddie, so he shrugged "It's hard. There's not an hour that goes by that I don't want a drink, but I'm really trying hard not to give in. Nobody knowing about this means nobody comes to visit to take my mind off of it. Not like anyone would anyway.." he trailed off looking into the sky and Spencer knew he was thinking about Sam and Carly.

He pat Freddie on the back "I'll stop by every day or two ok?"

Freddie nodded and handed him the envelope "Give this to Sam for me ok? There's a note in here explaining what it is."

Taking the envelope and putting in into his sweater Spencer stood up and helped Freddie up as well "Will do, I'll stop by for a longer visit tomorrow alright?"

"Make it after 2, I have a meeting with my counselor tomorrow." Spencer nodded and walked outside, breathing deeply and looking back "Your a brave man Freddie" he said under his breath.

**At Sam's house**

Spencer walked up to the door to Sam's apartment and knocked on the door, listening with a quiet laugh as Ayden raced her to the door, swinging it open widely "Uncle Spencer!"

Spencer dropped to the ground and picked him up, walking into the house as Ayden rambled on to him about his day.

Sam walked over to meet him with a smile "What brings you here? Not trying to steal my ham for artsy purposes are you?" she glared at him and he shook his head quickly.

"I have something for you, from Freddie."

She looked at him with an arched brow "You saw Freddie?"

Spencer nodded slowly "Didn't I just say that? Anyway...here." he handed her the envelope and proceeded to tackle Ayden onto the couch to tickle him.

She watched them for a minute before looking down at the envelope curiously, using a finger to open it and pulling out the money with wide eyes. A note fell into her hand and she opened it slowly.

_Sam,_

_Here's some of the money I owe you for Ayden. I realized I haven't paid any of the child support in the year we've been split up so I wanted to try and fix that. I know this is only like two months worth, but I promise you'll get the other 10 as soon as I can. I'm really sorry you've had to wait this long. Tell Ayden I love him and I'll call him in the next few days._

_Hope everything is going good with you._

_Freddie_

Sam took a few breaths and then put the envelope down. Spencer looked up and expected her to scrunch the letter up in a ball and throw it out, but she just folded it up and slid it into her pocket carefully before turning to Ayden "Hey Buddy, you wanna go out to the store later? Get some groceries that we both want and maybe get you a toy? Sound good?"

Ayden jumped up and nodded quickly "Yeah!"

Sam walked over to Spencer and looked down "Is he...I mean..y'know.."

Spencer knew what she was trying to say so he smiled "He's ok."

Sam nodded and then smirked "Good, because Ayden misses him and he needs his father around, even if he is a dork."

Spencer laughed and gave Ayden one more hug "Of course, I have to go, one more stop to make before I head home. If you see Carly before me...which you more then likely will, tell her to call me."

She walked over to the door with him and nodded "Will do...thanks Spencer." she closed the door and leaned against it for a minute, wondering what Freddie was up too that would make him not able to see Ayden.

**Back at the rehab center**

Freddie had just finished eating and was heading back to his room, nodding with a smile to some people on his way by when his phone went off.

He looked down and frowned in confusion seeing that he had a text message from Sam. He walked to his room and flopped onto the bed before grabbing his phone again and opening the message, smiling at what it said.

_Thank you._

He figured that it was best left like that and put his phone down beside the bed and grabbing his laptop, playing around with some new software he had gotten. Now that he wasn't drinking all the time he was slowly getting back into the things he'd loved before, it was all baby steps into getting back on track with his life.

**SOO...I told you it would be Seddie. But not yet...very not yet. Your gonna have to wait for it muahaha. BUT I did add in a few hints that she still cares about him and I'll do that occasionally so keep your eyes open. As always reviews make me happy.**


	4. Chapter 4

**I'm so sorry for the lack of updating but things should be better now. I'm having a crazy amount of fun writing this, the ideas just keep comin almost faster then I can write them. Thanks for reading this!**

**Disclaimer: Nothing is mine**

**Chapter 4: Tell me where he is**

**Carly's apartment a week later**

"Where is he?" Sam demanded, barreling in through the door causing Carly to shriek and jump a mile into the air. She put her hand on her chest to calm down her heartbeat and turned to Sam "Hey Sam."

Sam barely acknowledged her as she paced back and forth "Three weeks. He's never gone this long without seeing Ayden. And Ayden doesn't even really mind, he just says Daddy is doing something important."

Carly shrugged "Well here's an idea Einstein, maybe trust that he's actually doing something important."

Sam whirled around "Important Carly? Ayden and I used to be important, he said we were the most important things to him and then the dork goes off and gets all addicted to alcohol."

Carly shook her head "I know what he did Sam."

Sam dropped into a seat "I bet he's drinking even more know, forgets his days or whatever. Or he has a whole other life and he's trying to worm his way out of this one."

Neither of them heard the door open or Spencer walk in until he cleared his throat "Nice Sam, really. I actually tried convincing him that you didn't think disgustingly low of him, but apparently he was right, he really does know you better then anyone ."

Sam turned and glared at Spencer "Excuse me?"

Spencer crossed his arms "That dork your talking about. The one that you say has this whole new life, well your right. Wanna know what that is? Rehab Sam, that's what his new life is."

Sam blinked a few times and Carly spoke up "R-rehab?"

Spencer nodded "Yeah, rehab. To try and kick the alcohol habit. And I'm telling you, from what it looks like when I see him, it's hard for him."

Sam scoffed "Well it's his stupidity for turning to the alcohol to begin with."

She turned to head out the door, but froze when Spencer spoke up again "Yeah, let's just pretend we have no idea why he did that."

Still staring at the door she clenched her fists together "What the hell is that supposed to mean Shay?"

Spencer shrugged "Maybe I'm not going to say anything. You wouldn't really care either way would you Sam?" he turned to walk away but Sam lunged out and grabbed his arm "I'm going to ask you one more time. WHAT the HELL did you mean by that?"

Spencer yanked his arm out of her grasp "Where were you? After the accident when Freddie really needed you? When he was going out of his mind with the guilt of killing someone? You were his girlfriend for crying out loud Sam, you said you loved him more then anything. And you-" he turned and pointed to Carly "You always said he was your best friend and you'd always be there." he turned back to Sam again "He was always, ALWAYS there when you both needed him, and the ONE time he needs you, you completely abandon him."

Sam and Carly both stared at him quietly and he sighed "We tried. Gibby and I tried everything to help him, but it wasn't us he needed, and now you have the NERVE to stand there and say this was his fault. At least he's trying to get better, he said he was doing it for him, for Ayden...and for you Sam. He wants his life back. You weren't there for him then, but if you ever loved him, or love him or whatever...be there for him now."

He looked at both of them and shook his head, walking out of the apartment.

Sam and Carly turned and watched him leave. Carly sniffed "He's right. I never thought I'd say that about my brother, but he is..." she trailed off and then she wiped at her eyes "Wow, what kind of friend am I? He's never going to forgive me." she ran upstairs, leaving Sam alone, with her eyes still glued to the door.  
>"He'll never forgive me either." Sam whispered before scribbling a small note and running out of the house. She waited at the bus stop, checking her watch every minute until the bus showed up, and ran onto it with only one thing on her mind.<p>

**At the rehab center**

"Freddie? Freddie where are you?"

Freddie looked down from where he was lounging on a tree branch and saw Kolby standing by the door. He laughed and jumped down, walking over to him "What's up?"

Kolby smiled when he saw him "I got your message that you wanted to move your session up to tomorrow?"

Freddie nodded and looked down at where he was playing with his sweater zipper nervously "Yeah, I'm having a rough time right now...I really want a drink and it's hard to distract myself."

Kolby frowned and nodded "Ok, first thing tomorrow come down to my office and we'll figure something out." he walked off and Freddie headed back to the tree, only he slumped down in front of it instead of climbing back up it. He looked down at his hands and saw that they were shaking. He sighed and shoved them into his pockets "This is harder than I thought, but I'm not gonna quit now."

**Outside the rehab center**

Sam stood outside the rehab center, staring at the door and occasionally moving to let other people by.

"Got a loved one in there?"

Sam turned to find the source of the voice and saw a brunette about a year or two older then her standing by the entrance. Sam nodded "You can say that I guess, but it's really complicated."

The girl laughed quietly and pushed herself off the wall "Your standing outside of a rehab center, it's common knowledge that it's complicated. So are you checking yourself in or going to visit someone?"

Sam sighed "I was going in to see someone..."

The girl nodded "But?"

"But I don't deserve to visit him. I think I'm partly the reason he's in there."

The girl walked up to her "Come with me."

Sam crossed her arms and arched a brow "Why?"

"Because I can help you. A few months ago I WAS you."

Sam looked at her closely before nodding and following her.

**I know it's short, but I wanted to get a chapter up. Review and tell me you forgive me lol.**


	5. Chapter 5

**Yay! You all forgive me! I'm glad, and as always I'm really glad you like this story so much, I wanted it to be different and I wasn't sure what you all would think, so thanks so much for giving it a try and liking it.**

**Disclaimer: It's not mine. Only the idea is.**

**Chapter 5: Let me help you, help him**

**At a diner across town**

Sam fidgeted in her seat as she watched the brunette girl she'd met outside the rehab clinic talking to the waitress to place their orders. Once the waitress had left the girl turned back around "You know? It totally just occurred to me that you have no idea who I am, and I have no idea who you are."

Sam nodded and laughed quietly "I did catch on to that too. I'm Sam."

The brunette girl smiled "Nice to meet you Sam, I'm Alyssa."

"Nice to meet you too. So, why did you bring me here exactly?" Sam asked, never being one to beat around the bush.

Alyssa shrugged "Exactly why I said...I've been where you are right now."

Sam stared at her blankly and she laughed "My boyfriend was in rehab because of alcohol, only got out a few weeks ago."

Sam nodded again "He's not my boyfriend...not anymore at least. It's all really stupid how this happened, it never should have because he's not like that y'know? And then things happened and now he's in rehab because he turned to alcohol when he should have been able to turn to me."

The waitress came over and put their food down with a smile and Sam looked up to see Alyssa smiling as well "WHAT? What's so happy about that?"

Alyssa smiled "You're ranting, and getting it out. You have to do that, whatever your feeling has to come out. How can you even begin to try and help him if you can't help yourself first."

She opened her mouth to answer the question and then closed it again "Fine."

Alyssa grabbed her fork and twirled it around in her hand "So tell me about him? What's his name?"

"Freddie. He was my best friend, and then we started dating. Everything was really good, I found out I was pregnant and he was so happy. Ayden was born and I-I don't do the mushy stuff really but I really thought I was going to spend the rest of my life with him."

Alyssa stayed quiet through her explanation and then shook her head slowly "So what changed? I mean what made him turn to the alcohol to begin with? Do you know?"

Sam closed her eyes and sighed "He was involved in a car accident that almost killed him and killed a little boy..."

**Flashback at the rehab center**

_Freddie was driving home after a long day at work and while usually he would be dead tired, today there was a wide smile on his face. He looked down and saw the small bag sitting in the passenger seat beside him, a bag that was going to change his life. He and Sam had been dating for 3 years and he was completely ready to take that to the next step, he had spent hours looking for the right ring and now he was finally ready. _

_He looked outside and shook his head at the darkness, winter was on it's way and it got darker earlier and it was getting pretty chilly out at night. He reached down to turn on the heater a bit and muttered to himself about finding a job closer to home._

_He stopped at the stop sign and looked both ways to see if they were clear when suddenly he heard a horn blaring and felt himself being slammed into the drivers side door as his car skidded across the street as he tried his hardest to control it and slammed into a tree a few feet away. _

_He heard sirens in the distance and felt his blood dripping down his face. After what felt like hours he heard his door jerk open and he heard voices shouting but he couldn't answer._

_The shouting continued and he felt himself being put on a stretcher and rushed to the ambulance which then rushed off to the hospital._

_Next thing he knew he was in a hospital bed, sore from head to toe with Sam sleeping in the chair beside him..."_

**End of flashback**

Freddie ran a hand across his face and sighed "I had been in a coma for a week, Sam never left the room except to bring Ayden back and forth."

Kolby, who had been silent since Freddie started talking, wrote something in his book and nodded "When did you find out about Tony?"

Freddie looked up at the ceiling, Tony was the little boy who was killed in the accident "The next day. The police said when my car went skidding across the street I hit him and he went...flying"

His voice caught at the last word and Kolby nodded."You tried to control the car right?"

Freddie nodded "Yeah but the truck hit it pretty hard, there was nothing I could do."

Kolby smiled "Say that again."

Freddie looked at him confused but shrugged "There was nothing I could do."

"So if you couldn't possibly control the car, and that's not your fault...how is it your fault that your car hit Tony?"

Freddie looked at him silently and Kolby continued "None of this was your fault, so everyday I want you to look in the mirror and say 'There was nothing I could do'...got it?"

Freddie nodded and walked out of the office muttering "Nothing I could do."

**Back at the restaurant**

Sam sighed and wiped at her eyes, it wasn't like her to cry "I stayed with him all the time he was in the hospital. He was there for a week after he woke up, and he felt guilty about killing the boy, and I felt guilty for thinking what I did."

Alyssa tilted her head to the side about "What did you think?"

Sam shrugged "I was glad that Freddie was alive, that he wasn't the one that died...I wasn't even thinking about the little boy, but when I did I couldn't help but feel sort of happy it was him and not Freddie."

She dropped her head against the table "I'm a terrible person."

Alyssa pat her on the shoulder softly "No your not. You loved him, and when he came so close to dying you got scared and you felt what any other person in love would think. But what I don't get is why you stopped being there for him?"

It was quiet for a few minutes while Sam pushed the food around on her plate "What do you say to someone who's been through that? I pushed him away without even realizing it, then when he turned to alcohol I pushed him away completely because I couldn't stand knowing that he was drinking because of the lack of support he got from me."

Alyssa smiled slightly "This is where my experiences are the same as yours, only I didn't break up with my boyfriend, I just spent very little time with him. He came over one day and told me he was going in to rehab and he needed me to be there for him. To help him. Based on what I saw with my boyfriend he's going to need your help Sam, only question is are you going to make up for what you did and be there for him now? Or will you make him go through this alone too?"

Sam dropped her fork on her plate "I don't know how to help him."

Alyssa smiled again "That...is where I come in."

**I think this is my longest chapter yet! Woo hoo! I love reading your reviews, so keep em coming. I love you all for reading.**


	6. Chapter 6

**Hey guys, another chapter for you. Hope you all enjoy it.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything, but I can pretend.**

**Chapter 6: You're not alone.**

**Two weeks later at the rehab center**

_Freddie was lying in a hospital bed a few days after the accident, a little after he woke up from the coma, when he heard noises outside his room. He turned his head to see an older woman screaming and crying, obviously being pulled back by a bigger man who looked devastated as well._

_"NOOO, you can't dot his, let me see him! I need to see my baby!"_

_The doctor looked at her sadly "He's gone ma'am, we did everything we could to keep him alive but his body just couldn't handle the injuries."_

_The woman screamed again and fell to the ground, while the other man sat down beside her. Freddie felt a tear roll down his cheek as he turned his head away, the sounds still ringing in his ears_

Freddie woke up with a cry and rubbed his eyes before looking around and taking a deep breath "I wish that scream would stop haunting me, this is hard enough as it is."

The boy's parents blamed him at first, until they heard the police report and the witnesses at the trial, after which they came up and apologized to him. It didn't stop him from blaming himself however, and it didn't stop Sam and Carly for treating him like it was his fault. He got up and walked over to the bathroom, splashing some water on his face and letting his mind wander to the blonde that's had his heart for as long as he could remember..

**At Sam's house at the same time**

Sam groaned and sat up in frustration, she'd been trying to sleep for the last 3 hours but the things that Alyssa had said were continuously running through her head.

_He's going through the toughest fight of his life, not only does he have to go through drinking withdrawals but he has to face the demons he has from the accident._

_You have two choices, pretend this isn't happening and go on with life the way you have...or make up for not being there before by being there now. He needs the help and support now more then ever._

_I'll tell you something, it takes a lot of love for someone for a person to willingly go through what he is, ask yourself if it's for you and your son, or just himself._

_Sam sighed_ and stood up, she knew Alyssa was right but couldn't figure out how to help him. She looked over at her night table and smiled, seeing the picture of her, Freddie and Ayden taken just a few days before the accident. "What do you say to someone that you let down like that?" she asked herself and shook her head before laying back down and falling into a restless sleep.

She was woken up a few hours later by Ayden bouncing on her bed talking excitedly "Mommy! Aunty Carly and Unca Gibby are here."

Sam yawned and sat up "Thanks Buddy, head downstairs and I'll be there in a few minutes to make something to eat."

Ayden nodded and gave her a kiss on the cheek happily and hugging her before running back downstairs. She laughed as she heard him declare loudly that she would be right down.

She looked down and shrugged throwing one of Freddie's old shirts that he'd left there on and headed downstairs. "Hey Carls, what's up?"

Carly turned to look at her and raised an eyebrow at what she was wearing "Just wanted to see if you were still alive, you haven't been over in a few days."

Sam smirked "I thought you'd be happy, your ham has never been safer."

Carly laughed "Well yeah, but I was just worried I guess."

Sam smiled a bit "I was going to call you actually, I wanted to know if you could watch Ayden for a bit?"

Gibby sat down beside Carly "Don't see why not. Where are you goin?"

Sam sat down across from them "I'm going to see someone. Who's name starts with Fre and ends with Dee."

Gibby and Carly looked at her for a minute before realization hit "Ooh, well in that case he can come with us now."

Ayden didn't take long to get ready once he heard he was spending the day with Carly and Gibby and they were out the door in about 10 minutes.

Sam went and got dressed and then pulled out her cell, dialing a familiar number "Aly? I think I'm going to go see him today...yes I remember, I'll be sure to let him know...ok I'll tell you what happens."

She hung up the phone and slipped out the door, locking it behind her. She decided to walk to the center instead of taking the bus so she had time to figure out what she was going to say to him, though even as she got to the block and stood in front of the building she had no idea what she was going to do.

"Come on Puckett, just walk through the doors and ask to see Freddie. You can do this." she mumbled to herself, and then walked through the double doors and to the desk. "Excuse me?"

The secretary looked up and smiled "How can I help you dear?"

Sam hesitated and considered leaving, but said "I'd like to see Freddie Benson please?"

The secretary looked at her book and nodded "Of course, you can go out there and we'll get him."

Sam looked over to where she was pointing and say the yard. She headed outside, muttering a quick thank you.

She waited outside for a few minutes and had convinced herself this was a bad idea and was turning around to go back inside and head home when her eyes connected with his, those eyes that were clear for the first time in over a year "Sam? What are you doing here?"

**Muahahaha! I'm not gonna tell you her answer right now, you gotta wait till the next chapter. Just for some fun let me know what you think she'll say and I may put your idea in. Reviews make me happy of course.**


	7. Chapter 7

**Hee hee, I'll be nice and not make you wait to see what happens. It took me some time to really think about how this would go, so I hope you all enjoy it and review as always.**

**Disclaimer: I only own the computer this is typed on.**

**Chapter 7: I need you.**

"Sam? What are you doing here?"

Sam stood silently looking at Freddie for the first time. He looked a bit better, his hair was short again and he was gaining a bit of weight back, but what she noticed most was his eyes. They weren't cloudy anymore and they looked slightly less haunted...in short he was slowly starting to look like Freddie again.

"Sam?"

She jerked out of her trance and shrugged "Spencer told me where you were, and I guess I just wanted to see if you're ok."

He shrugged, shoving his hands in his pockets so she wouldn't see the slight shaking to them "I'm alright...yeah I'm good."

Sam quirked her eyebrow and shook her head "Don't lie to me dork, I know you remember? I can tell when you're lying."

Freddie smiled crookedly "And I'll say it again as I've said many times before, that is a very irritating truth."

Sam felt her heart leap slightly at his smile and crossed her arms "As irritating as it may be it's true. So are we going to stand here all day dancing around the subject till you tell me, or will you tell me willingly so I don't have to beat it out of you?"

Freddie tilted his head and then grabbed her hand, taking her over to a bench.

He sat down and she sat beside him and he sighed "You wanna know the truth?"

Sam nodded "Yeah, I do."

He looked over at her "Why? You never cared before."

She was quiet for a minute and he sighed again "Sorry Sam, that was rude."

She shook her head "Please, I actually deserve worse then that. You have every right to question it, but...I want to try and help. I'm part of the reason you got into this mess in the first place, I want to help you get out of it."

Freddie looked at her silently before saying quietly "It's hard. I haven't had a drink in like a month, and I want one so bad some days that it hurts. I do some small jobs around the center with a friend, and that helps a bit, and when it gets really bad I talk to Kolby.."

Sam held up a hand "Who the heck is Kolby?"

Freddie laughed quietly "Sorry. He's my counselor here. He's helping me with everything. The accident, the aftermath. I tell him everything."

Sam rolled her eyes "Fantastic, I'm sure he just LOVES me."

Freddie shrugged "I said some...not so nice things about you at first, but not anymore. I'm all good now."

Sam stared at him blankly and he stood up, motioning for her to follow.

"It's like this Sam. All the feeling guilty, and the feeling angry...and the feeling guilty about feeling angry...well that's always what made me drink. So I'm working really hard to move past those feelings."

Sam nodded as she fell into place to walk beside him "How are you doing with that?"

Freddie looked up, shoving his hands in his pockets "I know now that it's not my fault, that there was nothing I could do, but I'm still working on the guilt part, from both the accident and other things."

Sam looked over at him curiously and they stopped walking "What kind of other things?"

Freddie looked away and Sam grabbed his arm to turn him around and he shrugged "Us? I fell apart after the accident and I probably should have handled it better."

She laughed humorlessly and shook her head "No, no. You don't need to take the blame for that one. That was all me, and my typical Sam-ness of walking away from things when they get too complicated."

Freddie nodded "Doesn't matter who's fault it was I guess, it happened."

Sam nodded slowly "Yeah, it happened. So like, when do you get out of here?"

"When I have somewhere to live, I can't live alone till I'm sure I won't relapse again. And besides, I'm not ready to leave yet."

"Well you'll know when you're ready. But I should go, Carly and Gibby are watching Ayden." Sam said as they got near the door to go back into the center itself.

Feddie nodded and handed her another envelope "Was gonna call Spencer to bring this to you too, but since your here, it's another month or so of the child support I owe you."

Sam smiled and put the envelope in her sweater, biting her lower lip in debate before she reached up and hugged him "Thank you...I'll come see you again soon."

Freddie hugged her back tightly, remembering how it felt and how it made him feel before pulling away "Thanks Sam. Tell everyone I say hi."

She nodded and hurried out of the center, trying to ignore how she was feeling.

**Back at Carly's house**

'Hee hee Unca Gibby, I win. My tower didn't fall over like yours" Gibby laughed and started picking up the Lego pieces "Good job buddy, you make much better towers then me."

Carly watched them with a smile, making supper when Sam walked through the door and she turned to look at her "Hey Sam, how was it?"

Sam looked over at her and walked over to the couch and fell face first onto it, causing Carly to shoot a look at Gibby who nodded "Hey buddy, let's go for a walk ok?"

Ayden nodded happily and Gibby picked him up and they walked outside, while Carly went and sat down on the edge of the couch Sam wasn't covering "What's wrong?"

Sam buried her face deeper into the couch and groaned, lifting her head up "Nothing, that's the point. He's starting to look more like Freddie and he was acting more like him and..."

"Your afraid you'll start to love him again?" Carly finished off for her."

Sam nodded and flopped her head back down and Carly ran a hand along her back comfortingly "There are probably worse things that could happen."

Sam sat up on the couch and shrugged "I'm glad he's getting the help, but it was hard to see the struggle he's going through."

She turned her head to the kitchen and sniffed "Your making food?"

Carly laughed "Yeah, you staying for supper?"

Sam leaped off the couch "As if you have to ask that."

**Ok, so I just wanted to put some bonding between them, to try and move on the Seddie storyline a bit. I hope you love it and review!**


	8. Chapter 8

Wow, it's been a long time since I wrote anything in here. I'm soo very sorry, school took over my life and I'll be right back to writing this story within the next few days I hope. Hopefully you'll still enjoy reading it. Again really sorry guys.


	9. Chapter 8the real one

So apparently as soon as I decided to continue with this story the chapter just came right out easily. Interestingly enough, the song I listened to that made me want to create this story is the same song that made me want to continue this story, so thank you to the song "Wasted" By Carrie Underwood (Which I clearly don't own, along with anything else.)

This chapter takes place directly after the last one, with Freddie's reaction to Sam visiting him. Hope you all like it.

Chapter 8- Don't Know What To Think

At the rehab center

"Sam came to visit me today." Freddie mumbled, standing outside Kolby's office door.

Kolby looked up quickly and motioned for him to sit down, which Freddie did with a sigh "What did she say? Was it a good visit?"

Freddie nodded "Yeah, she told me she wants to help..." he trailed off with a shake of his head.

Kolby watched him carefully for a minute "Do you not believe her? I would have thought you'd be happy"

"I am...I mean, I want to be."

"But?" Kolby knew Freddie had clearly had a long day, but he needed him to admit why he felt the way he did.

Freddie sighed and ran a hand through his hair "Why now? This drinking thing isn't exactly a new thing, and I've been here in rehab for some time too. And I mean...I got myself into this mess, turning to the alcohol, do I really deserve having someone help me out of it?"

Kolby nodded, finally understanding where his thoughts were "The only one who can answer the first question is Sam, but from everything you told me it's best to just let her tell you when she's ready. As for the second question...yes you do. You may have gotten into that bad lifestyle, but you made the first move by coming here."

Freddie looked thoughtful and then nodded "One day at a time. Thanks Kolby."

He walked out of the office and down to his room quietly.

Sam's house

"Come on buddy." Sam said tiredly, picking Ayden up and bringing him to his room "It's getting late and you need to get some sleep."

"But mommyyy, I'm not tired." Ayden protested, yawning quietly.

Sam smiled and ran a hand through his hair, causing him to look up at her with eyes that looked just like Freddie's. "Of course you're not, let's just get you lying down and you can stay up if you want."

Ayden nodded and went upstairs, not even 5 minutes after his head touched his pillow he was fast asleep. Sam watched him for a few minutes, noticing just how much he looked like Freddie, he looked like her as well of course but at moments like this she can see so much of him it made her eyes water.

Hurrying into her room she grabbed the phone and dialed the number she'd been dialing alot lately "Hey Alyssa? Yeah I did go see him, I made it inside today. He looks...like Freddie, I mean things are still different, but he looks better, more like the Freddie I...the Freddie I knew before. Sure we can meet up tomorrow and talk. Ok, bye."

She hung up the phone and curled up in a ball thinking back to moments in her life that she knew she'd remember forever, finally falling asleep.

Ok so it's not long, but I wanted to get a chapter up and this was bouncing around in my brain all night, the next one will be longer I promise. Hope you all liked it!


	10. Chapter 9

**Ok guys, here's another one for ya, thanks for still being interested. Nothing but the ideas are mine of course.**

**Chapter 9- What Am I Feeling?**

**At a small cafe the next day**

"Hey Alyssa" Sam greeted as she walked through the doors and saw where Alyssa was sitting. She walked over and sat across from her, grabbing the menu and scanning it quickly. Alyssa looked up and waved "How was your first visit?"

Sam shrugged slightly "Was ok, we were actually being nice to one another, which I guess is an achievement all on it's own."

Alyssa nodded and when the waiter showed up they both gave their order "How did he look?"

"More like Freddie, like I told you on the phone. Seeing him made me remember...well not remember, because I never forgot...but it brought back everything that had made me fall in love with him to begin with."

She started looking around slightly and Alyssa touched her hand to get her attention again "Why is that such a bad thing?"

Sam blinked a few times "Who said I thought it was a bad thing? I just didn't expect it is all, I'm so used to seeing him all...different. I told him I was going to help him...be there for him."

Alyssa opened her mouth to say something, but smiled as the waiter brought their food and then nodded "How are you going to do that?"

Sam groaned and put her head against the table "I don't know."

She gave Sam a sympathetic look and pat her on the shoulder "You'll figure it out."

**At Carly's house **

"Gibby! Where are you?" Carly yelled out as she walked into the house.

Gibby came down the stairs with a book in his hand "Was upstairs reading, what's up?"

"I want to go see Freddie...not today maybe, but soon. And I, I want you there too." She said quietly, sitting down on the couch.

Gibby nodded and sat down beside her "Of course, whenever you want to go just say the word, we'll go see him together."

Carly smiled at him and took his hand "What if he doesn't want to see me? I wouldn't blame him, I haven't been the best friend to him, what if he hates me and..." she trailed off and looked at Gibby with a sniff.

He shook his head and put his arm around her "Freddie isn't like that, I don't think that kid could hate anyone even if he wanted too, if you start showing him that you're sorry and plan on sticking around I don't see the problem."

Carly went to say something but Gibby cut her off "BUT, if you don't plan on sticking around, don't bother going to see him at all, it's not fair to either of you."

Carly smiled a bit "I'm glad he had you and Spencer...at least you both tried to help him, which is more then I can say for Sam and I. I just feel so...Guilty about it."

"He'll see that." Gibby said with a smile "Don't worry so much" He kissed the top of her head and leaned back, just enjoying the quiet.

**At the rehab center**

Freddie opened the door to his room and dropped onto his bed "Why doesn't this feel like it's getting easier, it's still really hard and it's been more than a month" he groaned into his pillow. He must have fallen asleep because next thing he knew he was being jerked awake by his phone going off, signaling that he had a message.

"_Hey it's Carly. I know Sam went to see you yesterday, mind if I come see you sometime soon, I think it's time I tried to fix our friendship."_

Freddie had to re-read the message two more times before he believed what he was seeing, hesitating he looked around the room, remembering that Kolby had told him it was an easier process with people helping. And if he was honest with himself he missed Carly almost as much as he had missed Sam.

Nodding to himself he flipped his phone open and started typing.

_"Sure, it was nice seeing Sam and it would be nice to see you too. Let me know when you're coming and I'll make sure I have no work or appointments that day."_

Sending the message and putting his phone back beside his bed, Freddie lay back and looked at the ceiling. Maybe things can get better, he'll never get Sam back but maybe he can get his friends back...can he trust them and let them in?

**I wanted to show all three of them this chapter, so you can see where they are all at at this stage. Hopefully you review and enjoy the chapter, love you all for reading**


	11. Chapter 10

Hey Ya'll, much as I try to update reguarly life tends to not care. So here's the next chapter,

hope you all like it. As usual nothing belongs to me.

**Chapter 10: Fixing**

**Carly's house**

"GIBBY! I told Freddie we'd be there soon! Soon doesn not mean five hours from now you know!"

Gibby came walking down the stairs rolling his eyes "Calm down would you, you know he won't mind."

Carly sighed and nodded "Yeah, I know. Sorry for yelling."

Gibby smiled and then laughed "Besides, he'll probably think it was you that took so long"

Carly glared at him and he ran out of the house laughing while she closed and locked the door behind her.

They got into the car and Carly reached over and smacked him upside the head "That's for your comment."

He rubbed his head and she smiled innocently as they pulled out of the driveway.

**The rehab center**

Carly stood outside looking at the double doors, while Gibby stood beside her holding her hand "You can do this Carly. You have to face it all at some point."

Carly nodded silently and dragged Gibby into the building with her.

After mumbling who they were there to see she was directed to a room that looked like the cafeteria where she saw him sitting near the back with his laptop in front of him.

"Sam was right." Carly whispered "He really does look like the old Freddie...almost"

She walked up to him slowly with Gibby right behind her "H-hey Freddie."

Freddie jumped slightly and looked up "Hey Carly, Gibby" he added, looking behind her to see him "Wanna sit down?'

She sat down in front of him and Gibby sat beside her, after seeing that neither of them was going to talk first Gibby decided to say something "How've you been Freddie?"

Freddie shrugged slightly "Been better..been worse. Kinda in the middle I'd say, things aren't as hard as they were before, but they aren't exactly easy either."

Carly looked at him "Nice to see you with a laptop in front of you again."

Freddie smiled and nodded "Yeah, slowly getting back to my 'geeky self' as I suppose Sam would call it."

Carly hesitated for a minute "I'm sorry! I'm a really terrible friend for making you do this on your own, I don't know why I did it. I wish I could take it back, I mean Sam wasn't around and I saw what was happening to you but I wanted to stay in my happy little bubble and pretend it wasn't really happening. It was just not right seeing you like that, you were always the best one out of us and I hate that I didn't help you."

Freddie blinked a few times "Carly.."

"I don't expect you to just forgive me, but I want to help. I want to be there now, to try and make up for not being there before. I want to be as good as friend to you as you always were to us. Can you let me do that?  
>Freddie was quiet "Carly, I..."<p>

Muahahahaha. Evil me, now you gotta wait till next chapter to see what he says. Hope you review (even if you're yellin at me lol) Love you all of course.


	12. Chapter 11

OMG I'm sooo sorry for the late update, after the holidays I got a crazy cold and school and it was all insane but I'm updating now.

Even though it's been so long I still don't own anything

**Chapter 11- Can I let you help?**

Freddie had to take a moment to process everything Carly had said, and it wasn't until he saw her looking at Gibby with a worried look that he realized he hadn't answered yet. "Carly...this whole process is going to take a long time..."

Carly went to say something but he held up a hand to stop her "And it's really hard as it is. I'd love to just let you and Sam and Spencer and everyone help me, but I'm afraid too."

"Why?" Carly asked with a confused expression.

"The potential for everyone to walk away again." Gibby muttered quietly, understanding where his fear came from as he and Spencer were the only ones to notice after the accident as Freddie was struggling.

Freddie nodded toward Gibby "Exactly. I'm doing pretty good here right now, and yeah having the help would be nice...but what if it takes too long for you? What if I don't get better fast enough? What then? If you left again I'm afraid I would slip back and I can't let that happen."

Carly sat there quietly for a minute and shook her head "I won't. I won't leave again. I can't say anything for Gibby or Sam or anyone else, but I'm not going to walk away. You need us, and when I needed you you would drop everything to be there for me. It's time I repay the favor."

Freddie smiled and nodded "Ok then."

**At Sam's house**

"Mommy? Can I talk to daddy soon?"

Sam turned around and smiled at Ayden "Sure, I can call him later for you. I'm sure he'd be really glad to talk to you."

Ayden smiled widely and ran over to hug Sam, who hugged him back.

Ayden walked off quietly and Sam watched him with a frown "Hey buddy, can I talk to you for a second? Maybe on the couch?"

He flopped on the couch and she knelt down in front of him "Are you ok?"

He shrugged so Sam ran her hand through his hair "What's wrong?"

"Do you still hate daddy?"

Sam froze "Um...do-do I wha...what?"

"I heard you telling Auntie Carly that you hated daddy. Why do you hate him?"

So I know that this is short but I just wanted to get an update out there, love you all for reading


	13. Chapter 12

**Hey hey guys, I know it's been like almost a month and I'm really sorry but the inspiration bunny came out of nowhere today so yay for that and I hope you like this chapter...something big happens.**

**Disclaimer- Didn't own anything last chapter, still don't own anything this chapter**

**Chapter 12- Oh My God**

Sam blinked a few times and just stared at Ayden, who was looking back at her innocently "Umm...I..I don't hate daddy. What I said was out of anger and I never should have said it."

Ayden tilted his head "You don't hate daddy?"

Sam smiled and shook her head "No sweetie. I could never hate your daddy, so you don't ever have to worry about that ok?"

Ayden nodded, seemingly happy about Sam's answer and Sam stood up grabbing the phone "Let's call him now ok?"

She saw Ayden's face light up and smiled as she dialed the still familiar numbers of Freddie's cellphone.

"Hello?"

"Freddie? It's Sam."

Freddie laughed on the other end "I know, I do remember your cell number. What's up? Is everything ok?"

Sam smiled and motioned for Ayden to come over "Everything is fine, I have this little boy here who wants to talk to his dad, can you help him out with that?"

She could hear Freddie rummaging around and then he laughed quietly "Yup, I might know someone"

She handed Ayden the phone and he sat on the couch rambling on excitedly to Freddie, telling him everything he could think of while Sam headed back into the kitchen to clean up after supper.

About 15 minutes later Ayden came running back in and handed her the phone "Daddy says hi...I'm gonna play upstairs." he ran up the stairs happily.

**The next day at Carly's**

Sam knocked on Carly's door, balancing Ayden on her hip while he played with a toy car along her shoulder. Carly opened the door after a few knocks and laughed when she saw Ayden before moving out of the way so they could walk in.

"Hey buddy, why don't you go show Uncle Gibby your new cars? You know he loves playing with them as much as you do."

Ayden nodded and ran off to search for Gibby and Carly sat down at the table with Sam, bringing some ham with her, laughing as Sam immediately reached for the plate "What's up? You seemed sort of...feaked out when you called."

Sam finished the ham she was chewing and then sighed "He heard me."

Carly looked confused "Who heard you what?"

"Ayden heard me ranting to you one day and he heard me say that I hated Freddie."

"Are you serious? What did he say?" Carly asked with her eyes wide and hand in mid-reach

for her drink.

Sam dropped her ham and rested her head on her arms "He asked me why I hated his daddy. I swear Carly I felt my heart break into a dozen pieces. I told him I didn't hate Freddie, that I never could hate him...it hurt."

Carly nodded "Well yeah, it can't be easy to have a child who is afraid you hate his dad."

Sam shook her head "No, I mean yeah, that hurt too, but the thought of hating Freddie it...hurts to think about."

Both Carly and Sam sat there quietly, lost in their own thoughts until Carly looked up "What do you think that means? That it hurts to think about hating Freddie?"

Sam shrugged and Gibby walked into the room "You know what I just thought of? I think that love is crazy. It's always there."

They both looked at him confused and he continued "It's always there...if you love someone, like truly love them then I don't think you can just stop. I mean if you can turn that love on and off, well it's not a very serious love right? I know even if Carly and I were to split up tomorrow..." he paused to lean over and kiss her on the cheek "Which I hope will never happen...I would still love her everyday because I'm in love with her and that can't just, I dunno, go away."

Sam looked at him and then jumped up and ran to the door, throwing it open "Gibby I might love you...watch Ayden for me!"

**Freddie's room in the rehab center**

Freddie laid sprawled out on his bed reading a book someone had lent him when there was a knock on his door, causing him to jump at the noise "Who is it?"

"It's Sam...I really need to talk to you Freddie." The voice was slightly muffled and he knew it meant she was holding back her emotions in the Sam way.

Freddie got up and opened the door for her and she walked in and sat on his bed just staring at him.

After a few minutes Freddie looked around and then turned to Sam "You said you needed to talk to me, what's going on?"

Sam looked at him "I was at Carly's..."

"Ok, I knew you would be, you're there all the time."

"And Gibby said something...that made sense. And I realized something now...well I think I always knew it..."

Freddie looked confused "What?"

"I love you."

**Woo! That was bouncing around in my head all day, try doing schoolwork when part of you is writing this chapter in your head. It's not easy I tell you. Let me know what you think, I love you all for reading.**


	14. Chapter 13

**Hey ya'll. I know these updates take a while, but I don't update again till I know exactly how the chapter will go. This might not be a long chapter but it IS an update.**

**As usual I still don't own anything.**

**Chapter 13-Wait**

"I love you."

Freddie's head jerked up and he stared at her for a few minutes, causing Sam to shift nervously from one foot to the other "Will you say something? Anything?"

Freddie opened his mouth to speak, but shook his head and paused for a minute before trying to speak again "You love me?

Sam nodded and Freddie nodded as well "I thought that's what I heard. Had a hard time believing it after everything we've been through lately, but you know..."

Sam sighed and sat beside Freddie "I've been terrible, I know that. I wish I could take it all back and be there for you when you really needed me. I've tried ignoring what I feel, but looking at you, and everything you're going through for yourself, and Ayden.."

"And you..." Freddie mumbled quietly

Sam nodded "And me..it's so hard to see you like this, but I respect you SO much for sticking with it."

Freddie played with the wire on his laptop and looked up at her "I don't know what to say. Part of me wants to jump up and tell you I love you and ask you to be with me again. But the other part just tells me not to. I do love you Sam, always have and probably always will.."

Sam watched him and after a moment of him not saying anything she nudged him "But?"

"I think that as long as I'm here...and still have a massive chance of relapsing it wouldn't be a good idea to be together. It would just be unfair to you, me and Ayden if we jumped into this and it doesn't work."

Sam got up and started walking around his room "I guess I can see your point. And it is nice to know that you still love me...even though I don't deserve it."

Freddie pushed himself off he bed and grabbed her hand "Stop punishing yourself for what happened. Yes it sucks, and things probably could have turned out different, but this is the way they are. Wether we like it or not.  
>Sam looked at their hands and smiled "Yeah, I know you're right." she squeezed his hand and laughed at his surprised face "What?"<p>

He laughed and grinned :"You never admit that I'm right."

She laughed and smiled "Don't get used to it buddy, it probably will never happen again."

The both laughed and he paused before pulling her into a hug "Just be patient with me Sam. I swear once I'm better and finally kick this habit we'll talk."

Sam nodded "I'll hold you to that. But I should go, Carly and Gibby are watching Ayden. I ran out without giving them a choice.

**Outside the rehab center**

Sam looked back at the building behind her and sighed, none of this would have happened if she would have spoken up. All the times she wanted to talk to him, wanted to be there...and she'd always back out in the naive hope it would all work itself out.

She dropped down on a bench near the center and just watched people go in and out, or just walk by without a clue what people go through in there. After watching for a few minutes she got up and made her way back to Carly's deciding to walk instead of take the bus, she had a lot to think about.

**Alrighty. There's this chapter, something interesting will happen in the next one so hopefully it's easier to write and it won't be so long between updates. Thanks for sticking with the story and I love you all.**


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